Spectrum 2.0

Review of 'SAS: Operation Thunderflash!!'

Rating:1 User: dm_boozefreek

This game embodies sadism, to play it is to indulge in one of the highest forms of Sado-Masochism, to subject somebody to else to it willingly is the highest form of sadism.

This game is so frustrating, so diabolical, so undeniably shit that it borders on extreme cruelty, playing this is like being subjected to a severe, and indescribable form of cruel and unusual punishment.

S.A.S. Operation Thunderflash!! released at a time when the S.A.S. were seen as cool, hardcore, virtually untouchable military problem solvers, it couldn't possibly be a disappointment....WRONG! WRONG!! WRONG!!!

S.A.S. Operation Thunderflash is so badly implemented that it's borderline unplayable. I'm not sure I've ever encountered such a ludicrously unfair, frustrating, annoying, useless, unplayable pile of dog shit on any system. Sure enough the humble Speccy had it's fair share of turkeys, but the sheer magnitude of this gobbler would make Bernard Matthews scared. I had the misfortune to play this game when it was relatively new, but fortunately it was my friend who bought it so my £2.99 was safe. Obviously after about 25 seconds of him playing it he was beginning to feel that although reasonably cheap his £2.99 investment hadn't been the best one he'd ever made. Within 10 minutes I'd reset the Speccy and he was on his way up the street in tears because he realised with that £2.99 he could've got himself a 3 course meal and a King Size Coke from the local Chip Shop, or about 30 packs of Garbage Pail Kids...Poor auld Jimbo, he was never the same after that day.

So picture this you start the game, and at first you have a pretty decent looking iso-3D game in front of you. Then it falls apart almost instantly, as you realise the protagonist doesn't look like an S.A.S. operative, but rather like an overweight buffoon who could possibly have some kind of chromosomal disorder. Then you see the rather twitchy sprite for the terrorist shambling backwards and forwards like he's got some kind of Attention Deficit, this may be because him and all of his fellow terrorists look like a mutant fusion of Charlie Chuck, and a young Bob Geldoff....How unfortunate!

Anyway these properties have obviously made all the terrorists extra murderous, and seeing your characters rather comical appearance has obviously made him an easy target. Our rather portly operative is a sitting duck basically as he shambles along at about 1/3rd of the speed of the terrorists, here's where the thick of the problems begin. The terrorists turn instantly and shoot you the second you're in line with them, infact sometimes they've shot you before you can even turn, sometimes they're shooting you as you're coming into line with them. Also get this....They NEVER miss! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!!! Did I happen to mention they never miss, because I seem to have noticed that they never miss!

Your character moves directionally, but he turns like the game thinks you have rotational controls, the terrorists can turn from back to front instantly and shoot you, before your halfway through a turn. Annoyingly enough you don't always rotate as you turn, it only happens sometimes, sometimes usually meaning as you're making a desperate attempt to turn and shoot the obviously insanely amphetamine dosed murderers that plague almost every one of this games screens. The enemy are so ruthless that you actually can not run past them either. You can be the furthest possible distance from them, and they can have their back turned and as you try to move you're dead before your eyes have even translated the image to your brain.

This game is basically impossible because it's so badly programmed, which is actually a shame as although a little generic the graphics for the screens and scenery in general unlike the rather comical mongy sprites are quite functional, maybe even nice in some screens. Of course you won't get far enough to see anything really nice, unless it's by luck. I defy anybody to get more than 4 screens in or kill more than 3 terrorists without using POKEs, I genuinely don't think it can be done.

I notice that one of WOS's resident mappers Pavero mapped this game back in 2008. What can I say Pav you rock hard bastard you. Although I imagine those kudos will most likely be ill placed, as I imagine POKEs were used in mapping this septic pile of cat jizz. If POKEs weren't used I bet Pav used at least 1000 save states to get this crap mapped.

Definitely one to avoid, even people who like doing things like Trepanning, Metal Implants, and Hook Suspensions to themselves will find no pleasure in the pain this so called game will invoke.

Utter Trouser Fudge!!!